An email regarding Knicks vs. Celtics I sent to my Dad

Make it known to all that we just need to flip curry's expiring contract (btw how nice is it that it's finally expiring? it's like paying $400k on annual car payments for a a f*cking Ford Pinto), Danilo & Anthony Randolph (love his potential, always have, but if he can't make it here, he can't make it anywhere and he won't) for Carmello! Yeah it would lead to Amar'e and 'Mello making the least defensive forward tandem in the league but we're not exactly tossing out a defensive stud in Gallinari and Mello has a higher ceiling as far as turning on the defense in the playoffs. This move takes a ton of scoring pressure off of Felton (btw, he needs a nickname, something endearing to show him the appreciation for being the first engaging Knick Point Guard of my life, not counting how engaging the whole Starbury/Truck Party story was) and gives us 3 all stars and a guy to allow Amar'e more freedom to work down low. The main thing about that deal that saves us is the fact that we don't let go of Landry Fields (aka the David Lee of wing players, great instincts, plays hard, and gives us the token awesome white guy that this city secretly craves) or Wilson Chandler who is secretly better than Danilo, not quite as good a shooter but very useful in that department but also the most underrated in game dunker in the league and can thrive either starting or coming off the bench. Final thoughts on the night: We hung up 116 on the best team in our conference, a team that has climbed the mountain and we were decimals on a second off from Amar'e hitting the biggest clutch shot of his career and no one other than our rookie guard underachieved in the biggest game we've had this season. Spike is happy, Woody is happy, Clyde is happy, at least for one night the Garden was totally the way it's supposed to be. We're back. Now let's f*ck up Miami and enjoy watching Chris Bosh get dunked on over and over by a pissed off Amar'e